My Top 5 Tips for Achieving and Maintaining a Healthy Mind

If you’re into self improvement and maintaining a good standard of mental health, here are my top 5 tips for achieving a healthy mind.

1. Keep a balanced schedule. Most of us are guilty of not having a healthy work/life balance at times. Look at ways to improve this.
2. Eat healthily. You may think that this has more to do with the body than the mind, but how the body feels can affect the mind too.
3. Exercise daily. Physical activity can do wonders for the mind. Even it’s just 20 minutes of walking each day, you’ll soon feel good.
4. Get arty. Expressing yourself creatively can be good for the soul. It can help you make sense of your feelings and can be fun too.
5. Develop your social life. Having friends is a valuable part of any lifestyle and it’s fun getting to know other people.

Following those 5 simple tips will help you achieve a healthy state of mind, leaving you feeling happier and more fulfilled.

Depression and How To Overcome It

Depression is a subject that is still quite taboo and sufferers can find that they end up with a stigma attached to them. The reality is that depression is quite common and there’s no shame in admitting you feel so low. I will even hold my own hands up and say that I have suffered from it in the past. If you’re suffering from depression you can make a huge dent in it with simple lifestyle changes such as exercising every day, avoiding the urge to isolate yourself, challenging the negative voices in your head, eating healthy food instead of the junk you crave, and carving out time for rest and relaxation. Feeling better takes time, but you can get there if you make positive choices for yourself each day and draw on the support of others.

Recovering from depression requires action, but taking action when you’re depressed is hard. In fact, just thinking about the things you should do to feel better, like going for a walk or spending time with friends, can be exhausting.

It’s the Catch 22 of depression recovery. The things that help the most are the things that are most difficult to do. But there’s a difference between difficult and impossible.

So, here are my top tips to help you deal with depression...

Cultivate supportive relationships. Getting the support you need plays a big role in lifting the fog of depression and keeping it away. On your own it can be difficult to maintain perspective and sustain the effort required to beat depression. But the very nature of depression makes it difficult to reach out for help. However, isolation and loneliness make depression even worse, so maintaining your close relationships and social activities are important. The thought of reaching out to even close family members and friends can seem overwhelming. You may feel ashamed, too exhausted to talk, or guilty for neglecting the relationship. Remind yourself that this is the depression talking. Your loved ones care about you and want to help. Share what you’re going through with the people you love and trust. Ask for the help and support you need.

Challenge negative thinking. Depression puts a negative spin on everything, including the way you see yourself, the situations you encounter, and your expectations for the future. You can’t break out of this pessimistic mind frame by “just thinking positively”. The trick is to replace negative thoughts with more balanced thoughts. Ask yourself if you’d say what you’re thinking about yourself to someone else. If not, stop being so hard on yourself. Think about less harsh statements that offer more realistic descriptions. Allow yourself to be less than perfect. Many depressed people are perfectionists, holding themselves to impossibly high standards and then beating themselves up when they fail to meet them. Battle this source of self imposed stress by challenging your negative ways of thinking. Keeping a negative thought diary can also be useful. Whenever you experience a negative thought, jot it down and what triggered it in a notebook. Review your diary when you’re in a good mood. Consider if the negativity was truly warranted. Ask yourself if there’s another way to view the situation. For example, let’s say your boyfriend was short with you and you automatically assumed that the relationship was in trouble. Maybe he’s just having a bad day.

Take care of yourself. In order to overcome depression, you have to take care of yourself. This includes following a healthy lifestyle, learning to manage stress, setting limits on what you're able to do, adopting healthy habits, and scheduling fun into your day. Getting 8 hours of sleep per night, indulging in long hot baths, and going for a stroll in the sunshine are all positive things to do.

Getting regular exercise. When you're depressed, exercising may be the last thing you feel like doing. But exercise is a powerful tool for dealing with depression. In fact, studies show that regular exercise can be as effective as antidepressant medication at increasing energy levels and decreasing feelings of fatigue. 30 minutes of exercise per day will do it but you can start small. 10 minute bursts of activity can have a positive effect on your mood.

Eat healthily. What you eat has a direct impact on the way you feel. Aim for a balanced diet of protein, complex carbohydrates, fruits and vegetables. Don't skip meals as going too long without food can make you feel irritable and tired. Substitute junk food for healthy choices. For example, your daily chocolate bar could be replaced with an apple.

Know when to get professional help. If you find your depression getting worse and worse, seek professional help. Needing additional support doesn't mean you're weak. Sometimes the negative thinking in depression can make you feel like you're a lost cause, but depression can be treated and you can feel better. Don't forget about these tips though. Even if you're receiving professional help from a counsellor, these tips can be part of your treatment plan, speeding your recovery and preventing the depression from returning.

The tips above are what I would suggest to a client suffering with depression and I would assist that client in setting those tips as goals and then going on to achieve them.

One of the most important things to remember above everything else is that depression is treatable, you can overcome it, and there is no shame at all in admitting that you are feeling that way. The more people talk openly about depression, the less stigma and taboo there will be attached to it.

Death and How To Cope With It

Here's a little fact for you... One hundred percent of people die!

You may be thinking 'what a way to start a blog' or 'how morbid'. But it is the truth and it is a reality that many people need to face up to. Nobody is on this Earth forever.

Death is still a bit of a taboo subject. People don't like to talk about it and it can be viewed as a failure to live. While birth is celebrated as a new beginning, a success, death is treated with the finality that it somehow does not seem to deserve if we relate it to the natural world. Part of the problem is that birth and death are still unpredictable. They are both certainties though, and human beings, the control freaks of the world, must admit that we have no real control over those processes of life at all. More often than not, we fight it rather than accepting it as fact. But who would really want to live forever?

So what do we mean by the word 'death' and the process by which we attain this state, 'dying'? Generally people are afraid of death. Many people say that they are afraid of the process of dying; whether it will be dignified, painful, long and drawn out, or short and peaceful. Some religious people may not be as scared of death as their non-religious counterparts due to feeling that they will go to heaven or some kind of soul plane once they are gone, but will still admit to even a slight feeling of anxiety or apprehension. The comfort that they take in their religious belief though, is that if they believe they are going to heaven when they pass away, they do not have to entertain the idea of being alone or not being at all. Death itself causes us to face the loss of what we have in the present, and this, along with our lack of control, is where the greatest fear lies. Studies have been done on the kind of fear that people feel when thinking about death. The top 10 have been found to be:

• Leaving behind what we have in this life.
• Total loss of control.
• Leaving unfinished business, either with others or not having done what we wanted to do ourselves.
• Pain, prolonged illness or violence.
• Losing dignity, mental or bodily functions, becoming a burden and worrying that is how we will be remembered.
• Fear of the unknown.
• Fear of how people will manage without you.
• Being judged.
• Disappearing into annihilation.
• Fear of failing.

It is these and other fears around death that lead to people presenting themselves in my therapy room, because they feel a sense of loss and grief stemming from the death of somebody that they feel cannot be overcome.

When a client of mine does attend for therapy because they are grieving over the loss of someone, I spend a lot of time educating them on the issues surrounding grief and loss. I go through everything that I have said in this blog so far, I discuss the fears around death and how maybe if those fears were alleviated, the grief that follows would not be as severe, and then I do a bit of psycho-education (which I do with the majority of my clients). The psycho-education involves me discussing the various theories around grief and loss and applying them to how the client is feeling and their situation in the present. The stages of grief are explained so that the client can ascertain for themselves which stage they are at and then begin working on reaching a resolution and coming out of the grief.

Of course this is a simple way of explaining what can be a lengthy and drawn out process. Everyone is different and deals with grief in varying ways. Some people get over a death in a short period of time, and for other people it can take years. But everybody can overcome the grief they feel, and it's my job to help with that process.

That's all on this subject for now. It's a dark one, but it's also a topic that I believe human beings should be more open about. Let it be taboo no more.

How Hypnotherapy Can Rid You Of Stress and Anxiety

Stress and anxiety are often named as the culprits for people taking days off work and also for people not reaching their potential in life. Fortunately for those people, hypnotherapy is a valuable and powerful tool that can assist with overcoming what can be a debilitating condition. But what are stress and anxiety? This blog will answer those questions and go into detail about what causes stress and anxiety, and how hypnotherapy can help overcome them.

Feelings of stress come from any situation in which we feel frustrated, angry or anxious.

All people need a certain amount of stress in their lives or we would not be motivated to do anything at all. However, chronic stress (which occurs when a person is under constant stress for a long period of time) is responsible for many emotional and physical difficulties. At least 10% of the population have reported suffering from chronic or constant stress, and a survey that took place in 1999 came up with some interesting (but not totally surprising) results. 30,000 people aged 13 - 65 from 30 different countries around the world were studied and the survey discovered that:

• Women who work full time and have children under the age of 13 report the greatest stress worldwide.

• Nearly one in four mothers who work full time and have children under the age of 13 feel stress almost every day.

• Globally, 23% of female executives and professionals and 19% of their male peers say that they feel 'super stressed'.

In fact, research has found that women are more likely to suffer from stress symptoms than men. However, acute stress reactions are often seen in men, especially in the current socio-economic environment. This type of stress is also a factor in cases of depression.

Stress can be categorised in the following ways:

Hypostress: This is when a person is bored or unchallenged and lacking in motivation. People doing repetitive and tedious jobs may find it hard to be motivated in other areas of their lives.

Eustress: This is the one type of stress that is short term and gives people the strength to complete a task. It occurs when people increase their physical activity and creativity. Eustress is a positive stress that increases performance and motivation.

Acute Stress: This is the category that is generally identified as stress. People feel it through tension and physical disturbances, and it can be treated by various methods that generally take six weeks or so.

Episodic Acute Stress: This can be more damaging than standard acute stress and has symptoms associated with hypertension, stroke, heart attack and gastrointestinal disorders. Episodic acute stress is treatable in many cases but can often take up to six months to be brought under control. This often happens with medical intervention.

Chronic Stress: This is a serious state that seems to have no end and is characterised by an increase in the incidence of serious diseases from immunocompetence conditions to cancer and diabetes, and although it is treatable, it can take years to bring it under control.

Traumatic Stress: This is the result of a massive acute stress that is often cumulative. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder comes under this category but that will only be treated by qualified professionals within a multidisciplinary team.

When a client comes to me for hypnotherapy because they are stressed, one of the first things that I do is see how the stress is affecting them both mentally and physically. The most common symptoms of stress are the psychological changes which may present as depression, acute anxiety, confusion and an inability to concentrate, sleep disturbances which is fairly self explanatory but includes insomnia, and sexual dysfunction which can manifest as a lack of libido, inability to achieve orgasm in women, impotence in men, and there is also some evidence that suggests stress can contribute to infertility. There are other ways that stress can manifest, and many other symptoms, but I won't be going into those today. The most common ones are those which are outlined above.

Much of the treatment for stress that incorporates hypnosis will revolve around helping the client to learn to relax and also learn some triggers that will assist them in dealing with the physical symptoms of the condition. The therapeutic process also serves to empower the client to make the changes that they need in their life.

Obviously, every person is different and will have their own issues around dealing with stress, and it is also true that all of my clients must be prepared to take some responsibility for realising that they will need to change their lives in some way in order to remove the negative symptoms from their lives. This in itself can cause anxiety (which I will go on to in a moment). However, hypnotherapy can (and does) help with this. I always ensure that I assist my clients in understanding the importance of taking time to relax and how much clearer their thoughts will become when they do this.

So, anxiety...

Feelings of anxiety come from apprehension or fear, the source of which is not always recognisable. Anxiety can occur when when subjected to long term stress or when feeling threatened by something or someone. People also experience anxiety when they are not aware of what they are feeling anxious about.

We all feel anxious at some point during our lives and this is a normal and instinctual response that serves as protection to aid survival. This works well in situations such as being mugged (we will either run away or fight, depending on what seems like the best option) or when driving and obeying the rules of the road. But sometimes our subconscious mind can work overtime and respond to situations that are remotely similar to one that has made us anxious originally in the same way.

Anxiety can affect a person's whole being, emotions, behaviour and physical health. It primarily creates feelings of fear that will make a person want to avoid situations that it is trying to get us to avoid. Anxiety can then be made worse by persistently thinking negative thoughts that then increases the feeling of anxiety. Anxiety then become cyclical which means that the more anxious a person feels, the more anxious they become and hence the more negative the person feels. The person then creates a greater need to avoid the things that make them feel anxious. This can become everything in a person's life. Therefore it can be a precursor to depression.

Anxiety can be accompanied by a number of physical symptoms as well as the emotional feeling of it:

• Trembling
• Tense muscles
• Churning stomach
• Nausea
• Diarrhoea
• Headache
• Backache
• Heart palpitations
• Numbness/pins and needles
• Sweating or flushing

So, how can I help a client coming to see me to rid themselves of anxiety? After some investigation into what is causing the anxiety I would then use a hypnotic screed (essentially a script that is tailored to the individual) that would involve taking the client to a special place where they feel safe and confident. The hypnosis would then involve suggesting that the client build a shield around them that deflects all feelings of anxiety. The client should then be able to apply that to their real lives. That is, of course, a very brief description of therapy that could take place over a number of weeks.

So there you have it... Stress and anxiety explained, and how as your hypnotherapist I can help you overcome them.

How Hypnotherapy Can Transform You From Flab To Fab

Since I started as a therapist many people have come to see me for weight loss hypnotherapy (I prefer to use the term ‘weight management’ but do accept weight loss as the common term). Some of those people have only wished to lose a little weight; others have wanted to lose several stone or more. The first thing that I do with my clients who want to lose weight is determine how much weight it is they want to lose. At this point I can assess the reality of them reaching their goal and advise them accordingly.

Sometimes people will come for weight loss therapy and it will be acting as a mask for another deeper issue that they have not resolved. The weight issue will feel like an ‘OK’ thing to address with a therapist, whereas the deeper issue may not consciously be apparent to the client.

I’ll go more into how hypnotherapy can help someone wanting to lose weight later on, but first I want to talk about what obesity is and what causes some people to be overweight.

Obesity is defined as carrying too much body fat for your height and gender, to the extent that it poses a risk to health. A person will be medically considered obese if their body mass index (BMI) is 30 or greater.

An ideal BMI will be between 20 and 25. We can work out a person’s BMI by:

1. Squaring the person’s height in metres

2. Dividing the result by their weight in kilograms

For example, if a person was 1.75m tall and weighed 70kg then their BMI would be calculated as follows:

1.75 X 1.75 = 3.06

70/3.06 = 22.88 = the person’s BMI

A person becomes overweight due to taking in more calories over a given period of time then their body needs for maintenance, growth and activity. The rate at which we burn off calories is termed metabolic rate. Our metabolic rate is often faster during periods of growth and puberty but generally steadies out during adulthood. If we are active, our metabolic rate is generally higher as we need more calories to maintain an even weight. If we have a sedentary lifestyle we would need fewer calories, and taking in more calories than we need would be easier and would cause us to put on weight.

Obesity causes around 30,000 deaths in England every year and is only beaten by smoking. Two thirds of adults in this country are overweight and of these 22% of men 23% of women fall into the category of obese. This indicates that they are at least two or three stone overweight and their excess weight is putting their health at risk. Obesity increases the risks of several serious conditions including diabetes, heart disease, stroke, osteoarthritis, high blood pressure, gallstones, infertility and depression.

In children, the number of those described as obese has tripled over the past twenty years. We are seeing some 10 out of every 100 six year olds as obese, a figure rising to 17 out of 100 by the time they reach 15. Childhood obesity is a strong indication of continuing obesity and weight problems into later life.

So, how can hypnotherapy help?

When a client comes to see me for weight loss hypnotherapy the first thing that I have to do is assess their suitability for therapy. During the consultation I would ask a few questions about their lifestyle and any issues they may have before going on to determine the client’s BMI. This is done by measuring the client’s weight and height, and then doing the calculation above. If the person is classed as overweight or obese then I should be able to work with that individual to help them reach their goal. Somebody who is a normal weight for their height and gender should not be attending therapy to lose weight and I would not see somebody in that situation (although I would have to question why they feel the need to lose weight). Once the client has been assessed I can begin therapy.

The weight loss hypnotherapy that I conduct is based on the following three guidelines:

1. It is not based on depravation – I do not ask people to give things up but to reassess their eating habits. Hypnotherapy can help with reprogramming their subconscious into eating healthily which includes taking pride in their bodies and looking after them.

2. It is about identifying and accepting the programmes that the client’s subconscious is running from and deciding to change them.

3. It involves looking, if necessary, at where these programmes came from. This helps clients to understand their situation and stop blaming themselves.

The first step of weight loss hypnotherapy is to ascertain the client’s goal and assess the length of time this may take. I always inform my clients that a healthy rate of weight loss is 1 – 2 pounds per week. So if a client wanted to lose 14 pounds they should expect it to take between seven and fourteen weeks to achieve that goal. The next step is to take a detailed history of the client’s relationship with food and dieting. During this part of the therapy I will be listening to the words that the client uses and looking for any patterns that may link to the reason why that person has a weight issue. Once that has been done I need to find out how motivated the client is to lose weight on a scale of 0 – 10, with 10 being extremely motivated. I do this by asking the client to score themselves and I always look for at least an 8. If a client is not at least an 8 in terms of how motivated they are then that indicates that some motivational work also needs to be incorporated into the therapy, and the reasons for the lack of motivation will also need to be explored. The next step in the therapy is to go through the danger times and places with the client. This can be insightful for the client as they may not realise that there is a pattern to their eating habits. For example a client could always overeat when visiting family or a friend. We would then look at ways to handle those situations in future so that the overeating comes to a stop. After looking at the danger times and places I ask my clients to come up with a list of benefits of weight loss. If the client has several benefits written down this can act as a motivational tool. Benefits could be anything from having more money to being more active with their children.

Once all of the above steps have been completed it is time to move on to the actual hypnosis. This part of therapy will vary from client to client depending upon what their goal is and what has been revealed during the pre-hypnosis work. What I say during hypnosis will depend on what the client has revealed to me. One example I can give you is from some weight loss therapy that I did with an actual client of mine. The client was overeating because they kept buying lots of unhealthy food at the supermarket on impulse and then feeling they had to eat it all because they had bought it. Therefore the hypnosis that I did with that client involved visualising themselves in a supermarket surrounded by morbidly obese people stuffing cakes, chips and other unhealthy food into their mouths in a way that was disgusting and sickened the client. The client had to visualise the obese people trying to force them to buy all of the unhealthy food and eat it but realise that they did not want to be like that, and that they wanted to push away all of the unhealthy food. The hypnosis involved the client going through many aisles of the supermarket and being faced with the same situation, but getting stronger and more able to push away all of the unhealthy food because they wanted to lose weight. The final aisle in the supermarket that the client had to visualise was full of healthy food that the client felt that they loved and wanted to buy and eat. The client was then asked to pick up the healthy foods and walk towards the checkout. Just before the client got to the checkout they were asked to imagine a big stand full of healthy and positive treats that the client could choose from as a reward for picking healthy food and rejecting the unhealthy food. Once a treat had been picked and they had checked out of the supermarket with the healthy food, I put the suggestion in their mind that they would begin to apply this to their real life so that they could reach their goal.

That is a basic overview of what is approximately one hour of hypnosis. It turned out to be beneficial for the client who went on to achieve their goal, and I have since used variations of that hypnotic screed.

So there you have it; how as your hypnotherapist I can help you to reduce and control your weight, leading to you living a happier, healthier and more fulfilling life.

Sexuality and Gender Identity

Sexuality. It is a topic that is often the subject of much discussion and controversy, but do people actually have much knowledge about the subject? The purpose of this month's blog is not only discuss how therapy could help someone struggling with issues surrounding their sexuality or gender identity, but also to provide information on what it is to be in a sexual or gender minority. I will be looking at how there are positive and negative attitudes towards individuals who identify themselves as being in a sexual or gender minority. This blog is purely informative, it is not meant to patronise or offend, so please do enjoy reading.

I'm going to start off by going through the different types of sexual and gender minorities, detailing what they are, and also listing some of the derogatory and offensive terms that are sometimes used to describe those certain types of people.

Lesbian: This is the appropriate term to use for a female who is attracted to other females. Offensive and derogatory terms that are sadly sometimes used to describe lesbian women include dyke, lezza and lesbo. All of those terms, and indeed others, are unnacceptable and calling a lesbian woman one of those names is actually a homophobic criminal offence.

Gay: This is an apropriate term for a male who is attracted to other males. The word 'homosexual' is also an acceptable term to use when referring to a gay man. Offensive and derogatory terms that are sadly sometimes used to describe gay men include queer, poof and faggot. All of those terms are unnacceptable and calling a gay man one of those names is also a homophobic criminal offence.

Bisexual: This is the appropriate term to use when referring to a person who is attracted to both males and females. Bisexual people are sometimes called greedy and portrayed as predators who cannot make their mind up about what sexuality they are. Such attitudes, although seen by some as amusing, are actually offensive.

Transgender: This is the appropriate term to use when referring to someone who is in the process, or has gone through the process of becoming the opposite gender. A common misconception is that transgender individuals suddenly decide that they feel like becoming the opposite gender, but the truth is that being a transgender person is to be born in the wrong body and then make the transition to eventually become the gender they were meant to be. Being transgender is a recognised medical condition. Offensive and derogatory terms that are sometimes sadly used to describe a transgender person inclde tranny, freak, thing and it. None of those words are acceptable and calling a transgender person one of those words based on the fact that they are transgender is actually a transphobic criminal offence.

So, there you have it... Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT). They are the four main sexual and gender minorities. Now I am going to discuss how therapy can assist someone with overcoming issues surrounding their sexuality or gender identity.

As well as being a therapist I have also set up a youth support charity for LGBT individuals up to the age of 25. It is called Push Projects and provides advice, guidance, support and a safe place for young people who identify themselves as being LGBT. Part of my role is to run the weekly Push Projects social/support group and ensure that the young people who attend feel safe, able to be themselves and also able to discuss any issues they may have. This entails me using my skills as a therapist so that I can meet those requirements - therapy doesn't just take place in my therapy room! Many of the young LGBT individuals are vulnerable and need a lot of support. This is also the case when it comes to my role as a therapist. Not all of my clients are young people, but some have been LGBT. One massive difference between my work as a therapist and my role in youth support is that in the Push Projects sessions I am able to offer practical advice and guidance to young people. However, in therapy I do not (and cannot) give any advice or guidance to my clients. I can explore options for resolving and working through issues but do not tell the client what they should do.

Issues that LGBT people, old and young, may have include: experiencing homophobia or transphobia, being unable to accept their own sexuality, and being a homophobic homosexual (it does happen!). What I would do in every case is go back to the starting point for those issues. When and where did they begin? Timeline therapy, regression and inner child work are all good tools to utilise when going back to a point in the client's history. By going back to the time when the person's issues started allows both therapist and client to analyse the issue and understand what caused it. With that understanding and level of analysis it then becomes easier for the client to move forwards and work through their issues with the help of a therapist. Obviously it is not as simple and clear cut as this blog may suggest. Some people have deep rooted issues and it could take an individual weeks, months or even years to work through the particular issue they have. Therapy absolutely can and does help though.

When it comes to doing therapy with people struggling with issues around sexuality it is not just LGBT people that I work with. There are some people who are themselves homophobic or transphobic and attend therapy to understand why they are anti-LGBT and to hopefully change their way of thinking. You may be thinking that if someone has such prejudiced attitudes, why would they think they have a problem and attend therapy? The answer to that is that some people do recognise that they are guilty of holding attitudes that are deemed unnacceptable and therefore want to change. Then there are some people who are ordered to attend therapy due to something such as a court order. Whatever the reason, anyone is welcome in my therapy room and any person can make positive changes with the assistance of a therapist if it is what they want to do. When working with someone who is homophobic or transphobic it is important to determine the root cause of the person's attitude and behaviour. Homophobic or transphobic attitudes and behaviours may stem from other people's lack of understanding, their own insecurities about sexuality (they may fear they are LGBT themselves), or it could be due to the way the person was raised (it can be common for people who are raised by homophobic parents to end up being homophobic themselves). Whatever the reason for the negative attitudes and behaviours, as a therapist I will work with the client to determine where they originate and then help the client to slowly make changes in their way of thinking until eventually they are no longer homophobic or transphobic. This may take some time and it is not something that can happen overnight. 

Ways to help a homophobic or transphobic client may include asking them to keep a mood diary (I am a particular fan of mood diaries, belive they are useful, and I use them a lot in therapy) or building up to a point when the client will come face to face with an LGBT person (and hopefully the client does not react negatively to that person!).

There are a number of ways of working with both LGBT people who have issues around their sexuality and 'straight' people who are homophobic/transphobic. The important thing for me to do as a therapist is not judge any client that enters my therapy room. I may not agree with some attitudes or behaviours (I do not like violence or homophobia but I don't like coffee or Liverpool football club either - my point being that just because I do not like something it does not mean I will hold it against a person who is violent or homophobic or who supports Liverpool!), but that doesn't come into the work that I do and I believe in offering every person the same opportunity to reach their goal.

A Bit More On Goal Setting

Setting goals enables us to start the journey to achieving something that will make a real and positive difference to our lives, and I believe that it is worth the effort. With this in mind, I thought I'd share my knowledge on the subject of goal setting and give you a few tips to help you achieve this year.

The first thing to do when thinking about what your goals could be, is to create a space in which you can dream. To achieve this you could go for a walk in a nature setting (forest, walking on some hills or in the countryside), go for coffee in a nice cafe, or sit back in a comfy chair to relax and listen to some music. Personally I find the latter suggestion the most thought provoking for me, but everybody is different so do what suits you best. Once relaxed you can get going. Ask yourself the following questions:

If I knew I was going to be successful, what would I be doing with my life?

If I had unlimited money and time, how would my life change and what would I do with that spare time and money?

What did I love doing as a child and how can I replicate similar activities now?

When nobody is placing demands on me, what do I love to do and why?

Once you have answered those questions, either in your head or by writing down the answers, you are ready to list your goals. When writing your list of goals, start with the ones that you already know you want to achieve. Next, sit back and ask yourself what else you want to achieve. Start by writing down everything that comes into your mind and use positive phrases such as 'I want to move house' rather than negative ones like 'I don't want to stay in this house'.

Once your list is written, leave it for 24 hours and then come back to it. You can add to it at that point if you wish to do so, or you can take stuff off the list, but go through the list and put a tick next to the goals that resonate with you. It is important that you don't self-censor during this process. Be completely open and honest with yourself about what it is you want to achieve.

When you have done this, go through the list and tick again. Keep repeating until you have, at most, five goals on your list.

These are the goals for the year ahead, and this is now your foundation that you have laid. Take a look at your list and then cast your mind forward in time. Imagine that you are at the end of the year, looking back and reflecting over the past 12 months. What are you looking back on? Have things changed? Or is it the same as every other year? Will the previous 12 months have been intervening and enabled you to get that new qualification, or lose that excess weight, or overcome your particular issue. If you can imagine yourself one year from now, it will become easier to identify the goals that are most important to you. From there you can begin to plan what you need to do next in order to achieve your goal.

So, to summarise, here are my top tips to help you achieve this coming year...

Remember that the more powerful and compelling you can make your goals, the greater your chance of sticking with them throughout the year.

When considering your goals, it's good to strike a balance between long term goals and those which can be achieved quickly.

Include some goals in your top five that will bring quick results. This will help to build your confidence in avhieving the longer term goals.

Once you have your goals in mind or written down, ask yourself the following questions...

1. Why is it important that I achieve the goal?

2. What will I get if I achieve it?

3. What will it cost me if I don't?

Finally (and what I deem as the most important tip I have for you), whatever your goals for the year are, it's important that you make them SMART. I use this process with my clients. Each of your goals should be:

SPECIFIC: What exactly do you want to achieve?

MEASURABLE: How will you know when you have achieved it?

ACHIEVABLE: How can your goal be attained? What skills or support do you need?

RELEVANT: Is this goal worthwhile to you?

TIMED: When do you plan to start and finish the goal?

That's all on goal setting for now. As always, I hope that you can take something from it and apply to your own life. Here's to a year of achievement.