My Top 5 Tips for Achieving and Maintaining a Healthy Mind

If you’re into self improvement and maintaining a good standard of mental health, here are my top 5 tips for achieving a healthy mind.

1. Keep a balanced schedule. Most of us are guilty of not having a healthy work/life balance at times. Look at ways to improve this.
2. Eat healthily. You may think that this has more to do with the body than the mind, but how the body feels can affect the mind too.
3. Exercise daily. Physical activity can do wonders for the mind. Even it’s just 20 minutes of walking each day, you’ll soon feel good.
4. Get arty. Expressing yourself creatively can be good for the soul. It can help you make sense of your feelings and can be fun too.
5. Develop your social life. Having friends is a valuable part of any lifestyle and it’s fun getting to know other people.

Following those 5 simple tips will help you achieve a healthy state of mind, leaving you feeling happier and more fulfilled.

Depression and How To Overcome It

Depression is a subject that is still quite taboo and sufferers can find that they end up with a stigma attached to them. The reality is that depression is quite common and there’s no shame in admitting you feel so low. I will even hold my own hands up and say that I have suffered from it in the past. If you’re suffering from depression you can make a huge dent in it with simple lifestyle changes such as exercising every day, avoiding the urge to isolate yourself, challenging the negative voices in your head, eating healthy food instead of the junk you crave, and carving out time for rest and relaxation. Feeling better takes time, but you can get there if you make positive choices for yourself each day and draw on the support of others.

Recovering from depression requires action, but taking action when you’re depressed is hard. In fact, just thinking about the things you should do to feel better, like going for a walk or spending time with friends, can be exhausting.

It’s the Catch 22 of depression recovery. The things that help the most are the things that are most difficult to do. But there’s a difference between difficult and impossible.

So, here are my top tips to help you deal with depression...

Cultivate supportive relationships. Getting the support you need plays a big role in lifting the fog of depression and keeping it away. On your own it can be difficult to maintain perspective and sustain the effort required to beat depression. But the very nature of depression makes it difficult to reach out for help. However, isolation and loneliness make depression even worse, so maintaining your close relationships and social activities are important. The thought of reaching out to even close family members and friends can seem overwhelming. You may feel ashamed, too exhausted to talk, or guilty for neglecting the relationship. Remind yourself that this is the depression talking. Your loved ones care about you and want to help. Share what you’re going through with the people you love and trust. Ask for the help and support you need.

Challenge negative thinking. Depression puts a negative spin on everything, including the way you see yourself, the situations you encounter, and your expectations for the future. You can’t break out of this pessimistic mind frame by “just thinking positively”. The trick is to replace negative thoughts with more balanced thoughts. Ask yourself if you’d say what you’re thinking about yourself to someone else. If not, stop being so hard on yourself. Think about less harsh statements that offer more realistic descriptions. Allow yourself to be less than perfect. Many depressed people are perfectionists, holding themselves to impossibly high standards and then beating themselves up when they fail to meet them. Battle this source of self imposed stress by challenging your negative ways of thinking. Keeping a negative thought diary can also be useful. Whenever you experience a negative thought, jot it down and what triggered it in a notebook. Review your diary when you’re in a good mood. Consider if the negativity was truly warranted. Ask yourself if there’s another way to view the situation. For example, let’s say your boyfriend was short with you and you automatically assumed that the relationship was in trouble. Maybe he’s just having a bad day.

Take care of yourself. In order to overcome depression, you have to take care of yourself. This includes following a healthy lifestyle, learning to manage stress, setting limits on what you're able to do, adopting healthy habits, and scheduling fun into your day. Getting 8 hours of sleep per night, indulging in long hot baths, and going for a stroll in the sunshine are all positive things to do.

Getting regular exercise. When you're depressed, exercising may be the last thing you feel like doing. But exercise is a powerful tool for dealing with depression. In fact, studies show that regular exercise can be as effective as antidepressant medication at increasing energy levels and decreasing feelings of fatigue. 30 minutes of exercise per day will do it but you can start small. 10 minute bursts of activity can have a positive effect on your mood.

Eat healthily. What you eat has a direct impact on the way you feel. Aim for a balanced diet of protein, complex carbohydrates, fruits and vegetables. Don't skip meals as going too long without food can make you feel irritable and tired. Substitute junk food for healthy choices. For example, your daily chocolate bar could be replaced with an apple.

Know when to get professional help. If you find your depression getting worse and worse, seek professional help. Needing additional support doesn't mean you're weak. Sometimes the negative thinking in depression can make you feel like you're a lost cause, but depression can be treated and you can feel better. Don't forget about these tips though. Even if you're receiving professional help from a counsellor, these tips can be part of your treatment plan, speeding your recovery and preventing the depression from returning.

The tips above are what I would suggest to a client suffering with depression and I would assist that client in setting those tips as goals and then going on to achieve them.

One of the most important things to remember above everything else is that depression is treatable, you can overcome it, and there is no shame at all in admitting that you are feeling that way. The more people talk openly about depression, the less stigma and taboo there will be attached to it.

Death and How To Cope With It

Here's a little fact for you... One hundred percent of people die!

You may be thinking 'what a way to start a blog' or 'how morbid'. But it is the truth and it is a reality that many people need to face up to. Nobody is on this Earth forever.

Death is still a bit of a taboo subject. People don't like to talk about it and it can be viewed as a failure to live. While birth is celebrated as a new beginning, a success, death is treated with the finality that it somehow does not seem to deserve if we relate it to the natural world. Part of the problem is that birth and death are still unpredictable. They are both certainties though, and human beings, the control freaks of the world, must admit that we have no real control over those processes of life at all. More often than not, we fight it rather than accepting it as fact. But who would really want to live forever?

So what do we mean by the word 'death' and the process by which we attain this state, 'dying'? Generally people are afraid of death. Many people say that they are afraid of the process of dying; whether it will be dignified, painful, long and drawn out, or short and peaceful. Some religious people may not be as scared of death as their non-religious counterparts due to feeling that they will go to heaven or some kind of soul plane once they are gone, but will still admit to even a slight feeling of anxiety or apprehension. The comfort that they take in their religious belief though, is that if they believe they are going to heaven when they pass away, they do not have to entertain the idea of being alone or not being at all. Death itself causes us to face the loss of what we have in the present, and this, along with our lack of control, is where the greatest fear lies. Studies have been done on the kind of fear that people feel when thinking about death. The top 10 have been found to be:

• Leaving behind what we have in this life.
• Total loss of control.
• Leaving unfinished business, either with others or not having done what we wanted to do ourselves.
• Pain, prolonged illness or violence.
• Losing dignity, mental or bodily functions, becoming a burden and worrying that is how we will be remembered.
• Fear of the unknown.
• Fear of how people will manage without you.
• Being judged.
• Disappearing into annihilation.
• Fear of failing.

It is these and other fears around death that lead to people presenting themselves in my therapy room, because they feel a sense of loss and grief stemming from the death of somebody that they feel cannot be overcome.

When a client of mine does attend for therapy because they are grieving over the loss of someone, I spend a lot of time educating them on the issues surrounding grief and loss. I go through everything that I have said in this blog so far, I discuss the fears around death and how maybe if those fears were alleviated, the grief that follows would not be as severe, and then I do a bit of psycho-education (which I do with the majority of my clients). The psycho-education involves me discussing the various theories around grief and loss and applying them to how the client is feeling and their situation in the present. The stages of grief are explained so that the client can ascertain for themselves which stage they are at and then begin working on reaching a resolution and coming out of the grief.

Of course this is a simple way of explaining what can be a lengthy and drawn out process. Everyone is different and deals with grief in varying ways. Some people get over a death in a short period of time, and for other people it can take years. But everybody can overcome the grief they feel, and it's my job to help with that process.

That's all on this subject for now. It's a dark one, but it's also a topic that I believe human beings should be more open about. Let it be taboo no more.

How Hypnotherapy Can Rid You Of Stress and Anxiety

Stress and anxiety are often named as the culprits for people taking days off work and also for people not reaching their potential in life. Fortunately for those people, hypnotherapy is a valuable and powerful tool that can assist with overcoming what can be a debilitating condition. But what are stress and anxiety? This blog will answer those questions and go into detail about what causes stress and anxiety, and how hypnotherapy can help overcome them.

Feelings of stress come from any situation in which we feel frustrated, angry or anxious.

All people need a certain amount of stress in their lives or we would not be motivated to do anything at all. However, chronic stress (which occurs when a person is under constant stress for a long period of time) is responsible for many emotional and physical difficulties. At least 10% of the population have reported suffering from chronic or constant stress, and a survey that took place in 1999 came up with some interesting (but not totally surprising) results. 30,000 people aged 13 - 65 from 30 different countries around the world were studied and the survey discovered that:

• Women who work full time and have children under the age of 13 report the greatest stress worldwide.

• Nearly one in four mothers who work full time and have children under the age of 13 feel stress almost every day.

• Globally, 23% of female executives and professionals and 19% of their male peers say that they feel 'super stressed'.

In fact, research has found that women are more likely to suffer from stress symptoms than men. However, acute stress reactions are often seen in men, especially in the current socio-economic environment. This type of stress is also a factor in cases of depression.

Stress can be categorised in the following ways:

Hypostress: This is when a person is bored or unchallenged and lacking in motivation. People doing repetitive and tedious jobs may find it hard to be motivated in other areas of their lives.

Eustress: This is the one type of stress that is short term and gives people the strength to complete a task. It occurs when people increase their physical activity and creativity. Eustress is a positive stress that increases performance and motivation.

Acute Stress: This is the category that is generally identified as stress. People feel it through tension and physical disturbances, and it can be treated by various methods that generally take six weeks or so.

Episodic Acute Stress: This can be more damaging than standard acute stress and has symptoms associated with hypertension, stroke, heart attack and gastrointestinal disorders. Episodic acute stress is treatable in many cases but can often take up to six months to be brought under control. This often happens with medical intervention.

Chronic Stress: This is a serious state that seems to have no end and is characterised by an increase in the incidence of serious diseases from immunocompetence conditions to cancer and diabetes, and although it is treatable, it can take years to bring it under control.

Traumatic Stress: This is the result of a massive acute stress that is often cumulative. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder comes under this category but that will only be treated by qualified professionals within a multidisciplinary team.

When a client comes to me for hypnotherapy because they are stressed, one of the first things that I do is see how the stress is affecting them both mentally and physically. The most common symptoms of stress are the psychological changes which may present as depression, acute anxiety, confusion and an inability to concentrate, sleep disturbances which is fairly self explanatory but includes insomnia, and sexual dysfunction which can manifest as a lack of libido, inability to achieve orgasm in women, impotence in men, and there is also some evidence that suggests stress can contribute to infertility. There are other ways that stress can manifest, and many other symptoms, but I won't be going into those today. The most common ones are those which are outlined above.

Much of the treatment for stress that incorporates hypnosis will revolve around helping the client to learn to relax and also learn some triggers that will assist them in dealing with the physical symptoms of the condition. The therapeutic process also serves to empower the client to make the changes that they need in their life.

Obviously, every person is different and will have their own issues around dealing with stress, and it is also true that all of my clients must be prepared to take some responsibility for realising that they will need to change their lives in some way in order to remove the negative symptoms from their lives. This in itself can cause anxiety (which I will go on to in a moment). However, hypnotherapy can (and does) help with this. I always ensure that I assist my clients in understanding the importance of taking time to relax and how much clearer their thoughts will become when they do this.

So, anxiety...

Feelings of anxiety come from apprehension or fear, the source of which is not always recognisable. Anxiety can occur when when subjected to long term stress or when feeling threatened by something or someone. People also experience anxiety when they are not aware of what they are feeling anxious about.

We all feel anxious at some point during our lives and this is a normal and instinctual response that serves as protection to aid survival. This works well in situations such as being mugged (we will either run away or fight, depending on what seems like the best option) or when driving and obeying the rules of the road. But sometimes our subconscious mind can work overtime and respond to situations that are remotely similar to one that has made us anxious originally in the same way.

Anxiety can affect a person's whole being, emotions, behaviour and physical health. It primarily creates feelings of fear that will make a person want to avoid situations that it is trying to get us to avoid. Anxiety can then be made worse by persistently thinking negative thoughts that then increases the feeling of anxiety. Anxiety then become cyclical which means that the more anxious a person feels, the more anxious they become and hence the more negative the person feels. The person then creates a greater need to avoid the things that make them feel anxious. This can become everything in a person's life. Therefore it can be a precursor to depression.

Anxiety can be accompanied by a number of physical symptoms as well as the emotional feeling of it:

• Trembling
• Tense muscles
• Churning stomach
• Nausea
• Diarrhoea
• Headache
• Backache
• Heart palpitations
• Numbness/pins and needles
• Sweating or flushing

So, how can I help a client coming to see me to rid themselves of anxiety? After some investigation into what is causing the anxiety I would then use a hypnotic screed (essentially a script that is tailored to the individual) that would involve taking the client to a special place where they feel safe and confident. The hypnosis would then involve suggesting that the client build a shield around them that deflects all feelings of anxiety. The client should then be able to apply that to their real lives. That is, of course, a very brief description of therapy that could take place over a number of weeks.

So there you have it... Stress and anxiety explained, and how as your hypnotherapist I can help you overcome them.

How Hypnotherapy Can Transform You From Flab To Fab

Since I started as a therapist many people have come to see me for weight loss hypnotherapy (I prefer to use the term ‘weight management’ but do accept weight loss as the common term). Some of those people have only wished to lose a little weight; others have wanted to lose several stone or more. The first thing that I do with my clients who want to lose weight is determine how much weight it is they want to lose. At this point I can assess the reality of them reaching their goal and advise them accordingly.

Sometimes people will come for weight loss therapy and it will be acting as a mask for another deeper issue that they have not resolved. The weight issue will feel like an ‘OK’ thing to address with a therapist, whereas the deeper issue may not consciously be apparent to the client.

I’ll go more into how hypnotherapy can help someone wanting to lose weight later on, but first I want to talk about what obesity is and what causes some people to be overweight.

Obesity is defined as carrying too much body fat for your height and gender, to the extent that it poses a risk to health. A person will be medically considered obese if their body mass index (BMI) is 30 or greater.

An ideal BMI will be between 20 and 25. We can work out a person’s BMI by:

1. Squaring the person’s height in metres

2. Dividing the result by their weight in kilograms

For example, if a person was 1.75m tall and weighed 70kg then their BMI would be calculated as follows:

1.75 X 1.75 = 3.06

70/3.06 = 22.88 = the person’s BMI

A person becomes overweight due to taking in more calories over a given period of time then their body needs for maintenance, growth and activity. The rate at which we burn off calories is termed metabolic rate. Our metabolic rate is often faster during periods of growth and puberty but generally steadies out during adulthood. If we are active, our metabolic rate is generally higher as we need more calories to maintain an even weight. If we have a sedentary lifestyle we would need fewer calories, and taking in more calories than we need would be easier and would cause us to put on weight.

Obesity causes around 30,000 deaths in England every year and is only beaten by smoking. Two thirds of adults in this country are overweight and of these 22% of men 23% of women fall into the category of obese. This indicates that they are at least two or three stone overweight and their excess weight is putting their health at risk. Obesity increases the risks of several serious conditions including diabetes, heart disease, stroke, osteoarthritis, high blood pressure, gallstones, infertility and depression.

In children, the number of those described as obese has tripled over the past twenty years. We are seeing some 10 out of every 100 six year olds as obese, a figure rising to 17 out of 100 by the time they reach 15. Childhood obesity is a strong indication of continuing obesity and weight problems into later life.

So, how can hypnotherapy help?

When a client comes to see me for weight loss hypnotherapy the first thing that I have to do is assess their suitability for therapy. During the consultation I would ask a few questions about their lifestyle and any issues they may have before going on to determine the client’s BMI. This is done by measuring the client’s weight and height, and then doing the calculation above. If the person is classed as overweight or obese then I should be able to work with that individual to help them reach their goal. Somebody who is a normal weight for their height and gender should not be attending therapy to lose weight and I would not see somebody in that situation (although I would have to question why they feel the need to lose weight). Once the client has been assessed I can begin therapy.

The weight loss hypnotherapy that I conduct is based on the following three guidelines:

1. It is not based on depravation – I do not ask people to give things up but to reassess their eating habits. Hypnotherapy can help with reprogramming their subconscious into eating healthily which includes taking pride in their bodies and looking after them.

2. It is about identifying and accepting the programmes that the client’s subconscious is running from and deciding to change them.

3. It involves looking, if necessary, at where these programmes came from. This helps clients to understand their situation and stop blaming themselves.

The first step of weight loss hypnotherapy is to ascertain the client’s goal and assess the length of time this may take. I always inform my clients that a healthy rate of weight loss is 1 – 2 pounds per week. So if a client wanted to lose 14 pounds they should expect it to take between seven and fourteen weeks to achieve that goal. The next step is to take a detailed history of the client’s relationship with food and dieting. During this part of the therapy I will be listening to the words that the client uses and looking for any patterns that may link to the reason why that person has a weight issue. Once that has been done I need to find out how motivated the client is to lose weight on a scale of 0 – 10, with 10 being extremely motivated. I do this by asking the client to score themselves and I always look for at least an 8. If a client is not at least an 8 in terms of how motivated they are then that indicates that some motivational work also needs to be incorporated into the therapy, and the reasons for the lack of motivation will also need to be explored. The next step in the therapy is to go through the danger times and places with the client. This can be insightful for the client as they may not realise that there is a pattern to their eating habits. For example a client could always overeat when visiting family or a friend. We would then look at ways to handle those situations in future so that the overeating comes to a stop. After looking at the danger times and places I ask my clients to come up with a list of benefits of weight loss. If the client has several benefits written down this can act as a motivational tool. Benefits could be anything from having more money to being more active with their children.

Once all of the above steps have been completed it is time to move on to the actual hypnosis. This part of therapy will vary from client to client depending upon what their goal is and what has been revealed during the pre-hypnosis work. What I say during hypnosis will depend on what the client has revealed to me. One example I can give you is from some weight loss therapy that I did with an actual client of mine. The client was overeating because they kept buying lots of unhealthy food at the supermarket on impulse and then feeling they had to eat it all because they had bought it. Therefore the hypnosis that I did with that client involved visualising themselves in a supermarket surrounded by morbidly obese people stuffing cakes, chips and other unhealthy food into their mouths in a way that was disgusting and sickened the client. The client had to visualise the obese people trying to force them to buy all of the unhealthy food and eat it but realise that they did not want to be like that, and that they wanted to push away all of the unhealthy food. The hypnosis involved the client going through many aisles of the supermarket and being faced with the same situation, but getting stronger and more able to push away all of the unhealthy food because they wanted to lose weight. The final aisle in the supermarket that the client had to visualise was full of healthy food that the client felt that they loved and wanted to buy and eat. The client was then asked to pick up the healthy foods and walk towards the checkout. Just before the client got to the checkout they were asked to imagine a big stand full of healthy and positive treats that the client could choose from as a reward for picking healthy food and rejecting the unhealthy food. Once a treat had been picked and they had checked out of the supermarket with the healthy food, I put the suggestion in their mind that they would begin to apply this to their real life so that they could reach their goal.

That is a basic overview of what is approximately one hour of hypnosis. It turned out to be beneficial for the client who went on to achieve their goal, and I have since used variations of that hypnotic screed.

So there you have it; how as your hypnotherapist I can help you to reduce and control your weight, leading to you living a happier, healthier and more fulfilling life.

Sexuality and Gender Identity

Sexuality. It is a topic that is often the subject of much discussion and controversy, but do people actually have much knowledge about the subject? The purpose of this month's blog is not only discuss how therapy could help someone struggling with issues surrounding their sexuality or gender identity, but also to provide information on what it is to be in a sexual or gender minority. I will be looking at how there are positive and negative attitudes towards individuals who identify themselves as being in a sexual or gender minority. This blog is purely informative, it is not meant to patronise or offend, so please do enjoy reading.

I'm going to start off by going through the different types of sexual and gender minorities, detailing what they are, and also listing some of the derogatory and offensive terms that are sometimes used to describe those certain types of people.

Lesbian: This is the appropriate term to use for a female who is attracted to other females. Offensive and derogatory terms that are sadly sometimes used to describe lesbian women include dyke, lezza and lesbo. All of those terms, and indeed others, are unnacceptable and calling a lesbian woman one of those names is actually a homophobic criminal offence.

Gay: This is an apropriate term for a male who is attracted to other males. The word 'homosexual' is also an acceptable term to use when referring to a gay man. Offensive and derogatory terms that are sadly sometimes used to describe gay men include queer, poof and faggot. All of those terms are unnacceptable and calling a gay man one of those names is also a homophobic criminal offence.

Bisexual: This is the appropriate term to use when referring to a person who is attracted to both males and females. Bisexual people are sometimes called greedy and portrayed as predators who cannot make their mind up about what sexuality they are. Such attitudes, although seen by some as amusing, are actually offensive.

Transgender: This is the appropriate term to use when referring to someone who is in the process, or has gone through the process of becoming the opposite gender. A common misconception is that transgender individuals suddenly decide that they feel like becoming the opposite gender, but the truth is that being a transgender person is to be born in the wrong body and then make the transition to eventually become the gender they were meant to be. Being transgender is a recognised medical condition. Offensive and derogatory terms that are sometimes sadly used to describe a transgender person inclde tranny, freak, thing and it. None of those words are acceptable and calling a transgender person one of those words based on the fact that they are transgender is actually a transphobic criminal offence.

So, there you have it... Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT). They are the four main sexual and gender minorities. Now I am going to discuss how therapy can assist someone with overcoming issues surrounding their sexuality or gender identity.

As well as being a therapist I have also set up a youth support charity for LGBT individuals up to the age of 25. It is called Push Projects and provides advice, guidance, support and a safe place for young people who identify themselves as being LGBT. Part of my role is to run the weekly Push Projects social/support group and ensure that the young people who attend feel safe, able to be themselves and also able to discuss any issues they may have. This entails me using my skills as a therapist so that I can meet those requirements - therapy doesn't just take place in my therapy room! Many of the young LGBT individuals are vulnerable and need a lot of support. This is also the case when it comes to my role as a therapist. Not all of my clients are young people, but some have been LGBT. One massive difference between my work as a therapist and my role in youth support is that in the Push Projects sessions I am able to offer practical advice and guidance to young people. However, in therapy I do not (and cannot) give any advice or guidance to my clients. I can explore options for resolving and working through issues but do not tell the client what they should do.

Issues that LGBT people, old and young, may have include: experiencing homophobia or transphobia, being unable to accept their own sexuality, and being a homophobic homosexual (it does happen!). What I would do in every case is go back to the starting point for those issues. When and where did they begin? Timeline therapy, regression and inner child work are all good tools to utilise when going back to a point in the client's history. By going back to the time when the person's issues started allows both therapist and client to analyse the issue and understand what caused it. With that understanding and level of analysis it then becomes easier for the client to move forwards and work through their issues with the help of a therapist. Obviously it is not as simple and clear cut as this blog may suggest. Some people have deep rooted issues and it could take an individual weeks, months or even years to work through the particular issue they have. Therapy absolutely can and does help though.

When it comes to doing therapy with people struggling with issues around sexuality it is not just LGBT people that I work with. There are some people who are themselves homophobic or transphobic and attend therapy to understand why they are anti-LGBT and to hopefully change their way of thinking. You may be thinking that if someone has such prejudiced attitudes, why would they think they have a problem and attend therapy? The answer to that is that some people do recognise that they are guilty of holding attitudes that are deemed unnacceptable and therefore want to change. Then there are some people who are ordered to attend therapy due to something such as a court order. Whatever the reason, anyone is welcome in my therapy room and any person can make positive changes with the assistance of a therapist if it is what they want to do. When working with someone who is homophobic or transphobic it is important to determine the root cause of the person's attitude and behaviour. Homophobic or transphobic attitudes and behaviours may stem from other people's lack of understanding, their own insecurities about sexuality (they may fear they are LGBT themselves), or it could be due to the way the person was raised (it can be common for people who are raised by homophobic parents to end up being homophobic themselves). Whatever the reason for the negative attitudes and behaviours, as a therapist I will work with the client to determine where they originate and then help the client to slowly make changes in their way of thinking until eventually they are no longer homophobic or transphobic. This may take some time and it is not something that can happen overnight. 

Ways to help a homophobic or transphobic client may include asking them to keep a mood diary (I am a particular fan of mood diaries, belive they are useful, and I use them a lot in therapy) or building up to a point when the client will come face to face with an LGBT person (and hopefully the client does not react negatively to that person!).

There are a number of ways of working with both LGBT people who have issues around their sexuality and 'straight' people who are homophobic/transphobic. The important thing for me to do as a therapist is not judge any client that enters my therapy room. I may not agree with some attitudes or behaviours (I do not like violence or homophobia but I don't like coffee or Liverpool football club either - my point being that just because I do not like something it does not mean I will hold it against a person who is violent or homophobic or who supports Liverpool!), but that doesn't come into the work that I do and I believe in offering every person the same opportunity to reach their goal.

A Bit More On Goal Setting

Setting goals enables us to start the journey to achieving something that will make a real and positive difference to our lives, and I believe that it is worth the effort. With this in mind, I thought I'd share my knowledge on the subject of goal setting and give you a few tips to help you achieve this year.

The first thing to do when thinking about what your goals could be, is to create a space in which you can dream. To achieve this you could go for a walk in a nature setting (forest, walking on some hills or in the countryside), go for coffee in a nice cafe, or sit back in a comfy chair to relax and listen to some music. Personally I find the latter suggestion the most thought provoking for me, but everybody is different so do what suits you best. Once relaxed you can get going. Ask yourself the following questions:

If I knew I was going to be successful, what would I be doing with my life?

If I had unlimited money and time, how would my life change and what would I do with that spare time and money?

What did I love doing as a child and how can I replicate similar activities now?

When nobody is placing demands on me, what do I love to do and why?

Once you have answered those questions, either in your head or by writing down the answers, you are ready to list your goals. When writing your list of goals, start with the ones that you already know you want to achieve. Next, sit back and ask yourself what else you want to achieve. Start by writing down everything that comes into your mind and use positive phrases such as 'I want to move house' rather than negative ones like 'I don't want to stay in this house'.

Once your list is written, leave it for 24 hours and then come back to it. You can add to it at that point if you wish to do so, or you can take stuff off the list, but go through the list and put a tick next to the goals that resonate with you. It is important that you don't self-censor during this process. Be completely open and honest with yourself about what it is you want to achieve.

When you have done this, go through the list and tick again. Keep repeating until you have, at most, five goals on your list.

These are the goals for the year ahead, and this is now your foundation that you have laid. Take a look at your list and then cast your mind forward in time. Imagine that you are at the end of the year, looking back and reflecting over the past 12 months. What are you looking back on? Have things changed? Or is it the same as every other year? Will the previous 12 months have been intervening and enabled you to get that new qualification, or lose that excess weight, or overcome your particular issue. If you can imagine yourself one year from now, it will become easier to identify the goals that are most important to you. From there you can begin to plan what you need to do next in order to achieve your goal.

So, to summarise, here are my top tips to help you achieve this coming year...

Remember that the more powerful and compelling you can make your goals, the greater your chance of sticking with them throughout the year.

When considering your goals, it's good to strike a balance between long term goals and those which can be achieved quickly.

Include some goals in your top five that will bring quick results. This will help to build your confidence in avhieving the longer term goals.

Once you have your goals in mind or written down, ask yourself the following questions...

1. Why is it important that I achieve the goal?

2. What will I get if I achieve it?

3. What will it cost me if I don't?

Finally (and what I deem as the most important tip I have for you), whatever your goals for the year are, it's important that you make them SMART. I use this process with my clients. Each of your goals should be:

SPECIFIC: What exactly do you want to achieve?

MEASURABLE: How will you know when you have achieved it?

ACHIEVABLE: How can your goal be attained? What skills or support do you need?

RELEVANT: Is this goal worthwhile to you?

TIMED: When do you plan to start and finish the goal?

That's all on goal setting for now. As always, I hope that you can take something from it and apply to your own life. Here's to a year of achievement.

Putting Out the Cigarettes for Good

"A cigarette is the only consumer product which, when consumed as desired, kills half of its regular customers".

That is a startling fact there from the World Health Organisation, but it is true. Smoking is something that used to be considered quite glamorous many years ago, but as time goes by and laws that restrict where people can smoke come into force, more and more people are trying to kick their habit.

The fact that more people are trying to quit smoking means that there has been a big rise in the amount of people who are using hypnotherapy to help them become a non smoker. As a hypnotherapist myself, the main enquiries I receive are from people who do not want to smoke any more. Some therapists even claim that it is the 'bread and butter' of their work and so therefore specialise in that area.

So, why do people smoke? This is a question that a friend once posed to me. He could not understand why people would smoke when they are fully aware of the health risks and potential consequences of lighting up. What he failed to see though was that smoking is mostly a habit or sadly an addiction. For many individuals it is a case of peer pressure in their teenage years. When a group of teenagers are together and 'egging' each other on to start smoking it can be difficult to say no, especially when you want to fit in with people at that age. I am personally guilty of giving in to peer pressure as a teenager and smoking to fit in. However, I am now a non smoker. Another reason that people may start smoking is because they feel stressed and think that if they were to smoke a cigarette they would feel relieved of that stress. Clients who want to stop smoking have come to me with many reasons as to why they started smoking in the first place and therefore I would be here for a considerable amount of time if I was to go through them all. But whatever the reason why people start smoking, one thing that is a common problem across the board is that it becomes a habit or an addiction. And that is where hypnotherapy can come in...

When people contact me to make an enquiry about smoking cessation therapy I offer them two options. The first option is to have about 5 weekly sessions which involve gradually cutting down the cigarette intake over that period. The second option, which is a bit more hardcore, involves having a one off 2 hour session that results (hopefully) in the person leaving as a non smoker. Whichever option the client goes for there is a set list of things that I will want to find out:

How many cigarettes the client smokes each day - this is also important because in my experience somebody who smokes 40 cigarettes each day requires deeper treatment than somebody who only smokes 10 cigarettes each day.

Whether the person has tried to give up smoking before - it's good to find out the methods that have been used by the person to give up in the past and to ascertain what degree of success there has been.

If they have used hypnotherapy to try to give up before - if the client has seen a hypnotherapist before to quit smoking then I will not see them myself. If hypnotherapy didn't work before then what's to say it won't work again.

What makes them want to quit now -  this is an essential question because I will only see people who say that they are wanting to stop smoking because it is what they want to do. If someone was to say that their husband or wife wanted them to stop smoking then I would question this and probably not end up seeing that person for therapy.

Once those important questions have been asked and it is decided that therapy can go ahead, I make sure that the process of hypnotherapy not only involves the hypnosis itself but also a great deal of discussion which utilises my counselling skills and provides the client with a great deal of factual information about the risks of smoking and the benefits of becoming a non-smoker. For the risks of smoking part of the session I may discuss the following:

The many conditions that are caused or made worse by smoking, which inlude: many forms of cancer, diabetes, premature ageing, infertility, emphysema, and ulcers.

I would go through the chemicals that are in cigarettes, such as nicotine, carbon monoxide, tar, ammonia, hydrogen cyanide, and how they can affect the human body.

The death rate of people who smoke and how smoking is one of the biggest killers.

That part of the session can be quite emotional for some people so to balance it out I also go into the benefits of being a non-smoker, which includes the obvious financial benefits as well as the health benefits too. It is that part of the session that tends to inspire people and give them a bit more drive to succeed in reaching their goal.

The hypnosis itself will incorporate all of the information that the client has provided me with. I make up the majority of the hypnotherapy scripts as I go along and all of the hypnotherapy that I do is tailored to exactly meet the needs of the individual client. Some tools that I may use could be regression, inner child work, or visualisation, but whatever I do it will be structured specifically for the individual.

So there you have the basics of what smoking cessation therapy may entail. One final thing that I shall mention is that people making enquiries often want to know how successful smoking cessation therapy is. This is a question that I cannot answer in terms of giving a success rate, but what I can and do say is that smoking cessation therapy is very valuable and powerful, and that as with all hypnotherapy it will work if you want it to.

Achieve Your Goals

Setting goals is something that we all do, but how many of us actually achieve them? Many people make plans and set goals, whether it's to lose weight or stop smoking or make more time to see their family and friends, but after a few weeks are making excuses about why they haven't got anywhere near to achieving their goal. I include myself in this, I am only human, but I found a way to overcome the pattern of setting goals but also setting myself up for failure. I am going to discuss how I aid my clients with motivational techniques, goal achievement, and realising their dreams and ambitions.

Every goal or ambition that a person has can be divided into sub-goals, which are smaller tasks that when completed in a specific order will help to create the bigger picture and lead to the achievement of the greater goal. The fact that these smaller tasks must be completed is the thing that puts many people off embarking on the journey to achieving their goal.

One of the tecniques that I use with my clients to help them achieve their goals is the 'Buts and Benefits' technique. A lot of the work that I do is visual and I do like to get my clients to write things down, draw things, and basically have something down on paper that can be referred to as not only a motivational tool, but also as something that can help the client to understand and analyse the nature of their issue. The 'Buts and Benefits' worksheet that I use with my clients involves them writing down their goal. For this I will use an example of a young lad aged about 18 years old who has the goal of learning to drive a car. From that the client must write down the 'big benefits' of them reaching their goal. They could be having independence from others, having more flexibilty, being able to drive to work, and being more easily able to visit friends. The client must then go on the 'medium benefits' that learning to drive would bring. Examples of these could be not relying on public transport, keeping up with friends, and the enjoyment of looking after a car. The final part of the benefits is for the client to write down what would be their 'little benefits'. They could include leaving for work later, being able to impress people of the opposite (or same) gender, and the fact that the client has a keen interest in cars and would therefore be able to indulge more in this interest. Writing down the benefits is obviously a motivational tool for the client. However, it is also important to write down the 'buts'. What is stopping the client from achieving their goal? So, we move on to writing down the 'big buts' which may include having to take lessons, fear of failure, the theory test, and worrying about others laughing if the client was to fail. Then come the 'medium buts' which may be the cost of lessons, getting a good car, affording a car that has credibility with friends, and dealing with parents moaning. The final step is to then write down the 'little buts'. These could include finding a good instructor, getting value for money, and the upkeep of the car.

So as a therapist, what would I take from this?

From the information that the client provides me with I can help the client to see the 'sub-goals' and sort them into order of priority. They will usually start with the biggest 'but'. This can be the sub-goal that initiates the solution to tackling the other obstacles. It is then my job to ensure that the 'benefits' seem far bigger and better than the 'buts'. So, referring back to my example of the 18 year old boy who wants to learn to drive:

Obviously for this person the main motivational energy block is fear of failure, so I would need to work with this client from a self esteem point of view. Maybe some of the client's friends failed their driving test first time round; maybe the fear of failure needs to be explored from a therapeutic level by investigating the past experience of the client. In the meantime I would explore all of those benefits in a motivational way, raising the game with enthusiasm and visualisation of the completion of their goal.

In fact the client will not be able to embark on the journey towards goal achievement if the sub-goals are or seem to the client to be insurmountable.; this situation would create conflicting emotions. The 'buts' in the sub-goals may be psychological or physical, they may be emotional or practical, but they will generally need to be dealt with in some way before the client can move on.

Our emotions can be powerful motivators as they start the process of thinking which we have to do in order to assess the priority of our sub-goals, as we cannot pursue all goals at once. If we did try to pursue all goals at once we would become inactive from the confusion of it all. For example, if you were out on the town and was desperately thirsty but had also seen a person you were really interested in, it would do you no good to rush to the bar, take a sip of drink and then rush back to the person for one sentence of conversation; again both goals would not be achieved. Ok, so the flaw in that example is that you could get a drink and then go over to the person with the drink in your hand, but I'm sure you get the meaning!

What must happen is to choose one goal, more often than not the one that is the most pressing when it comes to survival. This is done by assessing the required and likely outcome and also the environmental conditions. We need to pick the goal on the basis of matching its likely success to the moment. So if you glance at the bar and see that there is a long queue (ok, you're not so thirsty that it is a threat to your survival!), then look at the person you want to talk to and see that they are just about to leave, it is not hard to decide where your motivation is going to send you (unless you need the drink first for Dutch courage!).

Emotions and feelings are the precursors of motivation, they set the brain's goals, and our thoughts and actions cascade from these. This is where the therapy comes in. It is the thoughts, behaviours and actions that I can help to alter in a positive way. In doing so, I facilitate the client to realise their dreams, goals and ambitions, by helping them to battle all of the 'buts' and enjoy the benefits of a given situation wisely.

Of course there are many obstacles to motivational energy that will require a certain amount of therapy to overcome, and they include physical, emotional, environmental, relationship, personality, historical, financial and practical issues, but now is not the time and place to delve that deep. However, it is important to know that as your therapist I can work with you on those issues to help you move forwards and achieve your goal.

Before I go there is one final thing that I'd like to mention. It is a tool that I use with my clients and one that also I apply to my own life. Maybe you would like to try it too...

The Motivational Ladder is something that I find very useful and I know that clients I have worked with have also found it useful. It sets out the sub-goals in an order with the first one being at the bottom of the ladder and the final sub-goal at the top of the ladder. Once all of the sub-goals have been achieved the main goal is then also achieved. The motivational ladder can either be drawn on paper or it can be created by using lollypop sticks and writing on them (this is my choice of creating a motivational ladder). If we refer back to the lad who wants to learn to drive, his motivational ladder would read very much like this:

PASS TEST

ATTEND LESSONS

BOOK LESSONS

CHOOSE SUPPLIER

ACQUIRE NECESSARY FUNDS

CHECK FINANCIAL COMMITMENT

FORM A TIMESCALE

RESEARCH LESSONS AVAILABLE

ADDRESS FEAR OF FAILURE

As the motivational ladder goes from the bottom to the top, the first sub-goal is to address the fear of failure and the final sub-goal is to pass the driving test. Motivational ladders can and do work, I find them incredibly useful, and it may do you some good to try this exercise at home.

You can download and print your own Motivational Ladder on the Free Resources page of my website.

Overcome Your Fears and Phobias

Fears and phobias are two things that are linked with each other. They are also two things that are frequently mistaken for being the same thing, despite actually being different. A fear is defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm, and a phobia is defined as an extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to something. So, to put it simply, fears and phobias differ in that one is more severe than the other, not so easy to control, and in some cases uncontrollable.

One question I am sometimes asked and one question that I always ask my clients, is where do fears and phobias come from? No one person is born with a fear or phobia built into them. Some people pick them up over time without even realising it and there are some people who have their fears and phobias built into them by parents, carers, or indeed any person who has an influence in their life. For example, a woman may have a phobia of spiders and scream every time she sees one. That could be witnessed by her young son and the phobia projected onto him. He will see his mother having an irrational response to a spider and think that is the way all people should react to them. So, then the son has the phobia of spiders which stays with him and is eventually passed on to his own children. It can and does happen, and that is a real life situation from one of my cases.

Now, what are the different types of phobias? It is generally accepted that there are several different types of phobias. They are:

Simple phobias: These are phobias of a single stimulus such as heights, ladders, enclosed spaces, etc.

Complex phobias: These are phobias of a number of stimuli. For example, a phobia of going on boats, maybe a phobia of drowning, losing control, crashing, being lost, or open spaces.

Social phobias: These are phobias of what may happen in the company of others. This can be being scared of blushing, losing self control, or trembling.

Panic attacks: Characterised by the presense of panic attacks (obviously). A number of things can trigger these off and they can sometimes be quite complex.

Agoraphobia: Literally a phobia of the open marketplace. Some years ago it was used to refer to people who have a fear of open spaces but it is now applied to people who experience nervousness the further they travel from home. In severe cases, people may not go out at all.

The last two categories can be put into the social phobia category but thay are special cases in their own right and I prefer to put them in their own categories.

So, how might someone with a fear or phobia overcome the problem they have? Hypnotherapy is a valuable tool in assisting people in overcoming their fear or phobia. Systems can be put in place that can help people control whatever it is they are frightened of. The first thing that I do with my clients is to ask them how much money it would take for them to meet their phobia, whatever it may be. It is a good way to gauge how severe the person's phobia is because somebody who has a true and severe phobia will always say that no amount of money will get them to meet whatever it is they are scared of. From that I then know how to plan my sessions and approach the therapy. It is then important to try to find out where the person's fear or phobia came from. Many people can recall a traumatic or upsetting event involving what it is that they are scared of but may not have made the link between what is called the initial sensitising event and how they feel at the present moment. Then there are some people who genuinely do not know why they have their fear or phobia. This may be because they have suppressed the memory or it has been repressed. In these cases it is probably necessary to do some form of regression with the person to take them back to the intial sensitising event and recover that memory. When the cause of the fear or phobia has been discovered the work on 'fixing' the problem can be done.

It can take time for people to overcome their fear/phobia and the work on overcoming it can continue long after therapy has ended. However, hypnotherapy plants the seeds and systems in the person's mind that enables them to then overcome their fear or phobia.

I know from personal experience in my own practice, and from what I have witnessed too, that fears and phobias really can be overcome with the assistance of hypnotherapy, but as with all therapy, the client has to want it to work too. But with hard work, willpower, and determination from both sides, your fears and phobias can be beaten.

How To Stick To Your New Year Resolutions

Have you began your new year resolution yet? I started mine yesterday and went for a bike ride. My goal is to become a bit more active this year. Despite the pouring rain and cold wind, I got on my bike and went out for a cycle. I aim to stick to the daily bursts of physical activity, but don't intend to beat myself up if it doesn't work out that way.

See, it can be difficult to keep up with our resolutions, but I believe a lot of that is down to the pressure we put on ourselves, which itself stems from societal expectation. That pressure and expectation can often set us up to fail, sometimes just days into the new year. I've been there and I'm sure you may have been too. We then ask ourselves why we bother to set these resolutions, but end up setting them again come the following new year. There is a way to break the cycle though.

In many situations the difference between achieving and not achieving something is the way we tell ourselves we are going to do it. I have found that the best way to achieve a new year resolution is to say something along the lines of "This year I will..." So for example, this year I will do more physical activities to boost my fitness level. Now try yours... As you tell yourself what you will achieve this year, feel assured that you will achieve that goal at some point during the year.

New year resolutions don't have to be achieved quickly. If you have told yourself that you will do something this year, you actually have 365 days to achieve it. So if your resolution isn't going to plan by the end of January, remember that you have eleven more months to get started and achieve your goal. It's ok to take your time. It's better to take 365 days to achieve your goal than to give up after a week or two because the results you desire have not rapidly materialised.

If you have made new year resolutions, I wish you the best of luck with them.

What To Expect At Your First Hypnotherapy Session

Attending a first appointment with a therapist can be a daunting experience. Having been in that situation myself in the past I am all too aware of the feelings of worry and apprehension that can come into play when on route to the appointment. Questions such as ‘what if I don’t like them?’, ‘what if they don’t like me?’, ‘what if they don’t understand my issue?’, and ‘what if they judge me?’ can be common at this point. That nervousness can be part of human nature (nerves are not always a bad thing), but the ‘what ifs’ often disappear soon after stepping into the therapy room for the first time. Of course I'm not going to suggest that you simply don’t ask yourself those questions or feel any element of apprehension, but what I aim to do here is explain what happens at the first session so that you know what to expect.

The first session, or so called initial consultation, is an opportunity for client and therapist to discuss the presenting issue. I will ask some questions to gain more of an understanding of your presenting issue and you have a chance to ask any questions you may have about the therapeutic process. As an example, if your presenting issue was that you wanted to quit smoking I would ask questions about how many cigarettes you smoke each day, the reasons why you smoke, and how you might cope with being a non-smoker (handling cravings and fighting the temptation to light up). You may ask questions about the length of time it will take to quit smoking with hypnotherapy or whether you really will become a complete non-smoker.

Once the discussion and questions come to a natural end, the second part of the initial consultation involves hypnosis. I like my clients to experience hypnosis right from the first session so that they can get used to how it feels and gain more of an understanding of the process. There are so many myths and rumours surrounding hypnotherapy and what hypnosis actually is, and I do my best to dispel those from the outset. The hypnosis in the first session involves using a relaxation technique and will include elements of the work that is going to take place in subsequent sessions. So if you wanted to become more confident, once relaxed I would begin to incorporate the fact that you can become more confident into the hypnosis, using the information you have provided as a foundation for that.

Once the hypnosis is complete I would discuss how it felt with you and use that feedback to shape future sessions. Some people feel the hypnosis goes too quickly and others can feel it doesn't go quickly enough. Other elements such as whether an individual is more visual or aural are also taken into account as hypnotherapy can involve suggesting you see, hear, or even smell certain things if appropriate and relevant.

At the end of the first session a future appointment can be made if you feel it has gone well and wish to progress. However there is never an obligation to continue and if you feel hypnotherapy (or the particular therapist) is not for you then it’s ok to say that you would not like to progress. In that eventuality I am always happy to recommend other therapists who may be able to work with you.

Coming back to the ‘what ifs’, I personally believe that no issue is too big, too small, or too embarrassing. This enables me to be completely non-judgemental and empathetic. Just about every other therapist is the same. As professionals we are not here to judge people; our role is to support individuals to make positive and lasting life changes.

The most important thing to me is that a client feels comfortable, so even before the first session takes place I'm happy to talk via telephone or email to answer any questions you have. You can call 07816 181428 or email daniel@daniel-browne.co.uk to have a chat about hypnotherapy, how it works, and how it may help you. I'm always happy to talk.